Guys Are Unserious

I very barely dipped my toes into the dating apps when a man showed up on my computer screen.  He was in a class I was taking and the way he ran his fingers through his hair made it hard to pay attention to the content.  Wait a minute, I thought, I know this man.  We work in the same division.  So, I sent him a Teams message about the class.  Woah!  He is super engaging and loves to chat.

I continued to half seriously swipe through the dating apps not knowing what I was doing and honestly afraid of what going on a date would mean.  I was still building my confidence after being left and was afraid of the social awkwardness that I knew would come with dating. 

Swiping along and, well, well, well, what do we have here?  Ollie, the man whose hair has been driving me mad showed up on Hinge.  There he was, in all his glory.  Obviously single since he’s on a dating app.  For weeks we chatted in Teams and I would swipe past him in Hinge, too afraid of rejection. 

One night, after a few glasses of wine and lots of encourage at a ladies’ night gathering.  I sent a rose.  Not just a like, a rose.  Like, a super like!  And then, nothing.  We continued to have our side chats in our weekly four hour classes.  I had my first crush since my husband had left me and it felt SO good.  It was fun and it was non-threatening.  I practically forgot about the rose.

I generally struggle to be a normal person, so when it was announced that there was going to be a tour available to our division that I assumed Ollie would be at, I began devising my plan to get closer to him.  We were meeting at a venue that had several lunch options, so I suggested that anyone going on the tour meet for lunch beforehand.  Oh, and I had to share my phone number just in case anyone got lost.  Leading up to this gathering I picked out my outfit, my jewelry, the perfume I would wear, and thought of topics to discuss at lunch. 

The day finally came, and ONE person showed up to my lunch.  Wouldn’t it be cool if it was Ollie?  It certainly would have been, but it wasn’t.  So, when I saw Ollie gathering with everyone else who had skipped my lunch, I gave him a little shit for missing it.  He said he was so bummed he missed my lunch, and he really wanted to come, but he had to drive others who couldn’t make it to the lunch.  Okay, I’ll let it slide, but I told him he owed me a lunch.

The tour was great, and we had good conversation which included a book he had recently read.  After the tour, I got home and sent him a Teams message asking him what the title of the book was that he had mentioned.  He sent me the link and then said he had a copy that I could borrow.  This was it.  I was going to be bold!  So, I said, “Oh, that would be great, you can give it to me at the lunch you owe me.”  This was even better than my original plan of lunch with a group, I could get him to myself.

When we were picking a date and time, he suggested Mondays, Tuesdays, or Fridays.  THEN, he suggested if we did Friday, we could take a half day and have some drinks.  I was dead.  This man, suggesting Friday afternoon drinking?  Yes, please!  AND, when I mentioned a restaurant where I had a free bottle of wine that I had to drink in restaurant, he wanted to go there! 

This is a date, right?  Two single people, taking off the afternoon, sharing a bottle of wine.  It sure sounds like a date.  I had already used my best outfit for the tour, so back to the drawing board.  I was as excited as a high school girl going on her first date.  Mainly, because this was sort of my first date.  I never really dated in high school because I wound up with my husband so young.  So, yes, this was my first date as a 37-year-old woman.  With a very attractive man.

I had forgotten that my daughter was off from school that day.  Dangit!  Now I need to find childcare for her.  Bestie to the rescue.  I was ready for the date with my new best outfit, great hair, good makeup, everything was just right.  I dropped my daughter off with my friend to have a playdate with her son.  While I was there, I took a quick shot of tequila to ease my nerves, and I was off.

I was a few minutes early, so I started perusing the wine options while I waited.  He showed up a few minutes late, but looking good and came right in for a hug.  This IS a date, right?  Everyone had assured me that based on our conversations, the venue, and the wine, this was most definitely a date.  But, how could I be sure?